I wanted to write on a subject we all desperately want... love. Many people go through life, seeking their one true love that will be THE ONE, the one that will make them live happily ever after. We are served this fairytale from the time we learn to walk through Disney's cute and charming stories. And we buy into it. We truly do believe our significant other exists and that we'll fall madly in love without having to work for it. BS I say.
Now, to get things straight, that's not exactly true. I do believe there exists someone in the world with whom we can connect instantly and love forever. But, and here comes the tricky part, it demands continuous work from both sides. Love isn't impermeable to the tricks of time. The butterflies and sparks don't last forever. You cannot sit back and relax on the canopy and hope that your love will keep on playing like a romance movie. Things just aren't that easy. Man and woman must always keep working on their relationship to keep it from dying.
These days, many marry on a whim and marriage are based on the initial passions and arousal the other suscitates. Getting to know one another, spending time talking together, that is gone. I've always believed that your lover is someone who is first and foremost your best friend, someone who knows you inside and out. But that isn't the case nowadays. And that's probably why there's such a high rate of divorce today. People marry for love and when the love disappears, so does the other partner.
Who am I to talk about this? I don't know much about it, having only been in one relationship to date, and one that didn't last very long. I'm just speaking about what I'm observing around me. Couples with kids I'm friends with are getting divorced after 20-30 years of marriage. It comes as a shock for me. But it just makes me realize that you can't rely uniquely on love. To have a lasting relationship, you must relate to the other person on a deeper level. Love the other person for what they are, their energy, their laughs, their passions... (not just their bodies or the feelings of arousal they create in you)... and that kind of love is a love that keeps on flourishing with time.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Time... where did you go?
"Time, where did you go? Why did you leave me here alone? Wait, don’t go so fast, I’m missing the moments as they pass." - Time by Chantal Kreviazuk
This morning, I was busy trying to plan my schedule for my second year in university. Believe it or not, making a timetable is actually pretty tough. I'm trying to fit in both courses that are for my personal interests and courses needed for my degree. Not an easy task, especially when you only have so many hours in a week. I was feeling frustrated because I was going to have to sacrifice some courses I liked for some other prequisites, and I really wanted to do those courses. And then I caught myself thinking, what is the big rush? What's the big deal if I don't take all the courses this year and come back for another year? Will my future career suffer enormously? I don't think so. So why was I feeling so pressed to complete so many courses in so little time? It's because time is money. Time is important. Time can't be wasted. People will wonder why you took 5 years instead of 3 to complete your university degree. "Why did you waste all that time for when you could be working already?" they say. There's no time anymore to explore. You are expected to know exactly what you want all the time. When you enter university, you are expected to know what field you want to go in. How the hell are you supposed to know when you haven't even had the chance yet to explore what's out there? It's like asking you to choose your favorite fruit when you only know bananas and apples. There's soo much more out there!
I've noticed that feeling in other parts of my life too. Whenever I finally get to do some reading or drawing, or even watch a movie, I feel so guilty because I feel like I should be doing something more productive with my time. When have I last taken the time just to look at the sky and really observe the world around me as I walk from the bus stop to the school? I can't remember... I'm too preoccupied about what I have to do that day and how much time it takes me to get to school. How often do I sacrifice pleasure time to do homework or answer my emails instead? (of course, you need to do these things, but you owe yourself a break too!) When am I not available to reach by cellphone or email? How many "things to do when I have spare time" lists do I make but never seem to have the time to do? Sound anything like you?...
Today, everything is done to save time. Technology helps us complete tasks in a matter of seconds. Why take a walk to your collegue's office when you can IM him the information about the upcoming meeting? I mean, really, why would you waste 10 minutes to get out of your chair and talk to him in person when you can use that time for something else? And that is the big culprit. I mean, think about it, if we're always saving time, shouldn't we have hours of free time at the end of the day to relax? Nope. More time = you can accomplish more things! Talk about productivity! You can do twice as much work, double your phone calls, triple your sales... etc. And that's why we're (the human race) so stressed all the time. We perpetuously try to fit in so many things every day. We begin to cut into other things, such as family time or sleep. We wake up even more stressed and tired because we're anticipating the huge workload of the day.
STOP!!!!
I'll tell you a big secret now... are you listening? Here it is: YOU are in control of YOUR time. You are the one who has the power to choose what you do with your time and who you spend it with.
The guy last week who wasted your time with his questions, your mom who calls you every hour to check up on you, your collegue who asked you to take his shift (and to which you agreed half-heartedly, even though you were supposed to go see a movie with your besties instead)... life is filled with events and people that want to take some of your time. But realize this: you only have so much to give.
But, fortunately, you can almost always (not always, of course) decide what you wish to do with your time.
5 things to do right now:
1) Relax: Close your eyes and take five deep breaths, completely filling your lungs and letting it out slowly.
2) Evaluate: How are you spending your time right now? Take a few minutes to jot down what areas of your life occupy the biggest portions of your time. (i.e. work, commuting, planning, family time, meetings, exercise, sleep).
3) Review: Now look at your list and decide if it corresponds to how you would like to spend your time. Are you spending enough time with your family? Are you getting enough sleep? Take time (no pun intended) to make a new assessment (if needed) of how you would like to spend your time.
4) Take action: You now have to actively change how you spend your time. Evaluating how you spend your time doesn't do much good if you don't act on it. So next time someone asks you to help them, decide if you really have the time. It's okay to say no. Or next time you're tempted to work an extra hour at work, why don't you go and rent a movie to watch with friends instead? (if that is one area of your life you would like to spend more time on) It's all about choices and being able to make the choices you know will make you happy.
5) "ME" time: Set aside some time for yourself each week. At least 30 minutes. And you can do whatever you like during these 30 minutes. They are completely yours. Want to catch up on that book you never finished? Take a bike ride? Or take a nice relaxing bubble bath? Whatever you want, it's up to you! Cut off all distractions, and let other people in the house know that you are not to be disturbed. You might feel guilty or selfish at first, but that's just because you've been conditioned to feel that way. This time will help you relax, enjoy life, and prepare you for the coming week.
Hope this helps. Have a great week! Now I'm going to read that book I've been putting off :) Ciao!
"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Bertrand Russell
This morning, I was busy trying to plan my schedule for my second year in university. Believe it or not, making a timetable is actually pretty tough. I'm trying to fit in both courses that are for my personal interests and courses needed for my degree. Not an easy task, especially when you only have so many hours in a week. I was feeling frustrated because I was going to have to sacrifice some courses I liked for some other prequisites, and I really wanted to do those courses. And then I caught myself thinking, what is the big rush? What's the big deal if I don't take all the courses this year and come back for another year? Will my future career suffer enormously? I don't think so. So why was I feeling so pressed to complete so many courses in so little time? It's because time is money. Time is important. Time can't be wasted. People will wonder why you took 5 years instead of 3 to complete your university degree. "Why did you waste all that time for when you could be working already?" they say. There's no time anymore to explore. You are expected to know exactly what you want all the time. When you enter university, you are expected to know what field you want to go in. How the hell are you supposed to know when you haven't even had the chance yet to explore what's out there? It's like asking you to choose your favorite fruit when you only know bananas and apples. There's soo much more out there!
I've noticed that feeling in other parts of my life too. Whenever I finally get to do some reading or drawing, or even watch a movie, I feel so guilty because I feel like I should be doing something more productive with my time. When have I last taken the time just to look at the sky and really observe the world around me as I walk from the bus stop to the school? I can't remember... I'm too preoccupied about what I have to do that day and how much time it takes me to get to school. How often do I sacrifice pleasure time to do homework or answer my emails instead? (of course, you need to do these things, but you owe yourself a break too!) When am I not available to reach by cellphone or email? How many "things to do when I have spare time" lists do I make but never seem to have the time to do? Sound anything like you?...
Today, everything is done to save time. Technology helps us complete tasks in a matter of seconds. Why take a walk to your collegue's office when you can IM him the information about the upcoming meeting? I mean, really, why would you waste 10 minutes to get out of your chair and talk to him in person when you can use that time for something else? And that is the big culprit. I mean, think about it, if we're always saving time, shouldn't we have hours of free time at the end of the day to relax? Nope. More time = you can accomplish more things! Talk about productivity! You can do twice as much work, double your phone calls, triple your sales... etc. And that's why we're (the human race) so stressed all the time. We perpetuously try to fit in so many things every day. We begin to cut into other things, such as family time or sleep. We wake up even more stressed and tired because we're anticipating the huge workload of the day.
STOP!!!!
I'll tell you a big secret now... are you listening? Here it is: YOU are in control of YOUR time. You are the one who has the power to choose what you do with your time and who you spend it with.
The guy last week who wasted your time with his questions, your mom who calls you every hour to check up on you, your collegue who asked you to take his shift (and to which you agreed half-heartedly, even though you were supposed to go see a movie with your besties instead)... life is filled with events and people that want to take some of your time. But realize this: you only have so much to give.
But, fortunately, you can almost always (not always, of course) decide what you wish to do with your time.
5 things to do right now:
1) Relax: Close your eyes and take five deep breaths, completely filling your lungs and letting it out slowly.
2) Evaluate: How are you spending your time right now? Take a few minutes to jot down what areas of your life occupy the biggest portions of your time. (i.e. work, commuting, planning, family time, meetings, exercise, sleep).
3) Review: Now look at your list and decide if it corresponds to how you would like to spend your time. Are you spending enough time with your family? Are you getting enough sleep? Take time (no pun intended) to make a new assessment (if needed) of how you would like to spend your time.
4) Take action: You now have to actively change how you spend your time. Evaluating how you spend your time doesn't do much good if you don't act on it. So next time someone asks you to help them, decide if you really have the time. It's okay to say no. Or next time you're tempted to work an extra hour at work, why don't you go and rent a movie to watch with friends instead? (if that is one area of your life you would like to spend more time on) It's all about choices and being able to make the choices you know will make you happy.
5) "ME" time: Set aside some time for yourself each week. At least 30 minutes. And you can do whatever you like during these 30 minutes. They are completely yours. Want to catch up on that book you never finished? Take a bike ride? Or take a nice relaxing bubble bath? Whatever you want, it's up to you! Cut off all distractions, and let other people in the house know that you are not to be disturbed. You might feel guilty or selfish at first, but that's just because you've been conditioned to feel that way. This time will help you relax, enjoy life, and prepare you for the coming week.
Hope this helps. Have a great week! Now I'm going to read that book I've been putting off :) Ciao!
"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Bertrand Russell
A Weighty Problem
We've been turning a blind eye to the worldwide problem of obesity for a long time, perhaps hoping - unrealistically - that it would disappear on its own. But with the latest statistics and research, it's impossible to deny it: We are fatter, more out of shape, and more susceptible to illnesses (such as type II diabetes and heart diseases) than ever. It upsets me to see kids as young as three already sporting unhealthy weight. Their future is not bright. (For the first time in history, kids life expectancy would be shorter than that of their parents!)
Who is to blame? Genetics? True, having obese parents does predispose children to be bigger up to a certain point. But if we delve deeper, the real culprit is society.
Nowadays, fast-foods are at every corner: Tim Horton's, McDonald's, Burger Kings, ...you name it. Pizza can be delivered to your house. Every supermarket sells premade frozen dinners - which are generally high in fat and sodium. Portions in restaurants have doubled, even tripled the size they used to be.
And now, one doesn't even have to leave the comfort of his home to survive. Everything is accessible from a click of a mouse or a telephone call. We spend hours in front of a computer, chatting away on Facebook or playing video games, and watching TV.
Bottomline: We are eating greater quantities of unhealthy foods and exercising less.
Is this trend of obesity irreversible?
Most definitely. I am an optimistic. I believe that if we educate people on the type of foods and the portion sizes they should be eating, and the amount of exercise they should be doing each day, obesity can be easily overcome. People already have a pretty good idea of what foods are unhealthy for them to begin with. They simply need to take a stand in taking care of themselves. It is more work to cook home-made meals and it takes time to go to the gym and exercise. But, in the long run, it is much more beneficial.
Who is to blame? Genetics? True, having obese parents does predispose children to be bigger up to a certain point. But if we delve deeper, the real culprit is society.
Nowadays, fast-foods are at every corner: Tim Horton's, McDonald's, Burger Kings, ...you name it. Pizza can be delivered to your house. Every supermarket sells premade frozen dinners - which are generally high in fat and sodium. Portions in restaurants have doubled, even tripled the size they used to be.
And now, one doesn't even have to leave the comfort of his home to survive. Everything is accessible from a click of a mouse or a telephone call. We spend hours in front of a computer, chatting away on Facebook or playing video games, and watching TV.
Bottomline: We are eating greater quantities of unhealthy foods and exercising less.
Is this trend of obesity irreversible?
Most definitely. I am an optimistic. I believe that if we educate people on the type of foods and the portion sizes they should be eating, and the amount of exercise they should be doing each day, obesity can be easily overcome. People already have a pretty good idea of what foods are unhealthy for them to begin with. They simply need to take a stand in taking care of themselves. It is more work to cook home-made meals and it takes time to go to the gym and exercise. But, in the long run, it is much more beneficial.
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